Sayre

“Tomboy” things I like about myself: I care less than most people about others opinions of me (funny enough that includes not being ashamed to have played barbies as a kid). I’m not sensitive to a round of good natured teasing. I’m willing to do what it takes to make sure a job gets done. I’m not vain and never have to worry about ruining my makeup because I don’t wear any! I’m a gamer (not that girly girls can’t be gamers too!). I’m not petty, jealous or clingy. I’m not interested in relationships, just friendship, although I am getting married to a guy! I’m not interested in playing catty social games. When I go shopping, I find only what I need at the best value (however, when I have extra money I do tend to blow it all on food and sometimes clothes). I’m not afraid to eat messy or disgusting food as long as i like it and I’m not hungry anymore. I’m very casual, and more often than not my appearance reflects comfort rather than fashion. My sense of humor, often dark, gross or just plain weird, is very unique and only understood by my closest friends. I’m very laid back, and while I seem cold or at best awkward at first, I can get along with anyone who wants to get along with me. I’m not a rebellious soul, but I march to the beat of my own drum.

Feminine things I like about myself: Even though my feelings aren’t easily hurt, I’m very empathetic and understanding towards people who are sensitive. I have deep intuition when it comes to people’s emotional needs, especially children. In other words, I’m a master at reading people. My mother has described me as nurturing. If I’m ever in
the mood for a dress, my
hourglass/pear figure lends itself
well. I’m a masterful hair stylist for my lack of training and my sisters often come to me for hair help and advice. My siblings also know they can vent to me at any time or solicit advice concerning their own social problems. I don’t mind allowing someone else to take charge if they’re better at it than I am. I’m tactful and diplomatic when the situation calls for it and rarely get in trouble (though when I have gotten in trouble, it’s been BIG trouble). I’m not affectionate myself, but when someone I care about needs a hug or cuddles for reassurance I’m ready to give it. I give thoughtful gifts. And I am a skilled pianist who teaches beginners, mostly kids.

Things I like that could be either: I’m very loyal, and genuine. I’m also playful and like to have fun; I can be childish, which is good or bad depending on the context. I consider myself intelligent but not a genius. I’m extremely self-aware.

Things I dislike that could be considered boyish or feminine: I am ambitious in my head, but rarely put my ambition into practice because I procrastinate too much. I am an enabler. I’m very messy, to an extent that for any other adult would be embarrassing. Anyone who knows me knows I can’t cook. When I have extra money I tend to overspend, whether that’s on video games or shoes shirts that I don’t need. I have insecure phases where I need social approval or validation.

Feminine dislikes: I’m not assertive at all, even when I should be. I tend to preserve others’ emotional satisfaction over their well being when the need arises. I’m useless in a crisis, and not always logical. I beat myself up over little mistakes, usually when others are involved. I have a sweet tooth that’s starting to catch up to me. My figure is very feminine when you can see it. I’m too cautious and don’t take risks very often in life. I tend to let people walk all over me. I’m not athletic, and I’m quite weak and useless when it comes to physical labor. Sometimes I employ diplomacy when a situation calls instead for insistence and frankness. I’m short and petite; easy prey.

“Tomboy” dislikes: Poor personal hygiene; I know this is a stereotype but unfortunately it applies to me sometimes. Most people find poor hygiene unacceptable and inexcusable. My recent insistence on eschewing many feminine traits has my family thinking I’m secretly a guy inside, which is untrue. My lack of affection makes me seem distant from others, especially cuddly ones. The fact that I didn’t get to express myself as a tomboy when I was a kid, means that many people I’m close to think I’m being fake now. Sometimes I wear baggy clothes just to hide my hips, even when I would rather wear something else. I feel a sort of dysphoria concerning my body; I don’t want anything people will look at sexually as a woman (big butt, which I have, big boobs, which I don’t, curves, enough to be uncomfortable). Sometimes I do wish I was a boy but I don’t believe I actually am one. Sometimes I make jokes that are perceived as rude or offensive at the wrong time.

P.S. I wore feminine clothes as a kid because that’s what my family bought me and I felt bad protesting. I really liked specific dresses for a period of time but I’ve never felt any special attachment to casual women’s clothes like blouses or skirts. They always just seemed boring to me. When I had more freedom to dress myself, I wore what looked like outlandish rainbow costumes comprised of the strangest items I could find. i had to wear the boring women’s clothes for a retail job, but a little before I moved to a more casual environment i began buying boys clothes and baggy, comfortable clothes because I felt they represented me better. I go shopping to kill time between my two jobs, but I don’t go “girly” shopping unless I’m feeling silly. I feel that as far as fashion goes, I’m almost a full on tomboy now as i can easily say I’d rather wear a suit than a formal dress (unless it’s very hot then anything cool will do)!

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