Ace

For me, being a tomboy has mixed feelings…to be honest I grew up liking girly toys, clothes, etc. I still enjoy those things– I find them attractive and pretty. However as I grew up I found myself attracted to activities sterotypically regarded as masculine. I wanted to be a spy, and Adventurer, I wanted to kick butt, be the hero and save the girl– type thing. I soon found myself obsessing over male protagonist in movies, novels, cartoons, and comics. But it felt as if my feelings were different from other girls– yes I did very much find them attractive (I’m heterosexual) but it was more to an extent of I was VERY jealous of them and how attractive they are. These boys are cute and cool and I wanted to be cute and cool too… though don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-female or pro-male…in fact I think I became irritated because none of the boys around me lived up to the fantasy world boys. I think at this point I decided I’ll just become my own ideal boy PFFFT (I’m kind of only realizing this as I type it). Now however, I feel a bit stuck. I like men, this I’m sure of…however I get a good feeling out of making girls happy or (god I sound like a perv, please forgive me) getting them to blush. I like the feeling of being liked, hugged, touched (in non sexual ways– completely innocent ) by girls however sexually I’m not attracted to them.

Now on the topic of style– I myself as if right now dress a few days out of the week in this almost androgynous (can’t spell for the life of me) like then the other times pretty average girl like. However for the past four years only my sister had known about me wearing male clothes while my parents were out. This is the first time I cut my hair short only the last month and attempted to wear what I’ve been wearing in secret to school in some degree– the real kicker was my dad who is set on girls should look like girls, while luckily my mother was a farm girl and is more accepting of this tomboy style. ANYWAY– my advice to girls who are too afraid to go for the tomboy look because of their parents– gradually ease them into it, it may be irritating but rebel then give them what they want then repeat– for me, I cut my hair to just a little above the shoulders, its a bit too long but I have to ease my dad into it as my hair was practically to my waist only a few weeks ago. Soon I will cut it a little more till I achieve what I want. As for clothes I came up with excuses to be allowed to shop in the mens section (though I had been doing this long before, even with long hair– in fact I dressed more manly with long hair than short PFFT ) — my favorites are ”girl’s clothes have been becoming too tacky these days and mens clothes are becoming what girls clothes use to be” and ”*insert guy friend’s name here* told me guy clothes are cheaper (which they are) but just as good quality as girl’s, I’m sure if I put this with something cute it’ll turn out great” or a simple lie I say to my dad all the time ”dad! Don’t you think this would look good with a skirt/bow/girly accessory? I found it in the guys section, crazy right?” <—- its all about manipulation man.

Sorry for this long ass post– its kind of the first time I've been able to talk about this to anyone–

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One thought on “Ace

  1. Dude, you’re just like me 😀
    I like to wear guys clothes but if a skirt came near me I’d burn it.
    My parents couldn’t do anything about it and it made me feel happy that they had no choice but to accept me for being myself.
    The best part is, you’re not the only one.
    I know you already know this (well duh, this is a whole website of freaking tomboys) but it’s nice to have somewhere where you can share your experiences with other people and where you can find ideas and techniques to dress and do hair thingies and to tell your parents how you feel.
    By the way, your spelling is great XD.

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