Jane

Hi, wow, where shall I begin?

I’ll start off by telling y’all a little about myself. My name is Jane, I am an aspiring writer, I live in Texas, and I am thirteen years old. Most importantly, I have short hair, a pixie cut, and have had it that way since 2012.

The bullying started the first time I posted a photo to Instagram. It was a selfie of myself in a bikini. My friends and families liked it, naturally, but some random person found it and asked “are you a boy or a girl?”

It didn’t really bother me. People are stupid. I replied, “I sure hope I am a girl because I’m in a bikini.” They didn’t reply again, and I made my Instagram private.

A few months later, after the incident had been forgotten, I publicized my Instagram and also signed up for other sites like Vine, iFunny, and Tumblr. Then the cyber bullies came.

They said things like “I can’t tell if you’re a prepubescent boy or a chick” or “Girl? Guy? Both?” And plenty of other nasties.

I like selfies. I like pictures of myself, and I like the internet. I like who I am, who my friends are, and where I am. But, it seems, the world can’t accept that.

I dress in “boy” clothes. T-shirts, jeans, et cetera. They’re comfortable. I wear them every day.

I identify as female. I wear female underclothes, use the women’s bathroom, I am completely satisfied with being female, until it comes to the bullies.

I was chased out of school last semester by a group of cheerleaders who threw things at me like “trans” or “gay”, even though I have a boyfriend. I do not want to move schools as the Language Arts section is well-renowned and I have grown up in this town with my friends with no events thus far. It was only when I entered middle school that the people from other elementary schools began to verbally attack me.

I got my ears pierced and have made plans to grow my hair out, but I am still unhappy. My mother attempts to get me to wear more “feminine” clothing and also wants me to get into makeup, though I turn her down every time because I feel makeup masks the beauty within and also just sits on my face like a mask. (No offense to you makeup users, of course).

I cut my hair short in the first place because I am also a very avid softball player, and it got in the way of my catcher’s equipment. I do remember, however, that at the birthday party I attended directly after my haircut the first thing anyone said to me was from a girl named Elena who rushed up to me and yelled, “JANE! OHMYGOD! YOU LOOK LIKE A BOY!” And I remember this sinking feeling in my stomach like, ‘I’ve just made a terrible mistake’ even though I don’t really feel like that as I love my hair and who I am.

Sorry for ranting. Guess I’ve held this in too long. If y’all have any thoughts, please, PLEASE reply!

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One thought on “Jane

  1. I totally get where you are coming from I am also a tomboy but my mom forces me to wear more feminine things. And right now I have a pixie haircut and even though I feel more comfortable in it then my long hair some people confuse me as a boy. And that just gets me and makes me want to grow my hair longer but I realized you don’t have to care what other people think about you. Do what you want and be yourself.

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