Emily

As a kid I found an interest in Soccer and loved playing against the boys. At one point I was better than all the boys even my brothers and some that were in higher grades than I. I hated my name because it sounded too girly! I always loved getting dirty for as long as I remember, played sports, played with toy cars, wore baggy clothes… my mom never approved of me- my tomboy status. I remember her telling me that I should start wearing girls clothes and would take me shopping for some. She ALWAYS bought me pink shirts and girly dresses (which i would ONLY wear to church and hope no one would see me in them). I would always be very upset and eventually got her to stop buying me girly clothes. I would buy boys pants and she would dispise it. Throughout my 7 years of Elementary, I hung out with the boys and played sports every single day whenever possible! I dressed like them and acted like them and never understood the girls in my grade and what was so fun about socializing or whats attractive about boys. I never cared to look pretty, never cared what i looked like, never brushed my hair and left it looking like “a rat’s nest” -my mom would say. Once I was asked why I dress like a boy (which I never thought was important or why girls and boys had to dress certain ways, i just wore what I liked), and i quickly replied, “Because girls suck”. I sort of regret it but at the time I would always say “I wish I were a boy. Why did god make me a girl? I hate girls they’re boring and weird and never want to have fun like the boys.” I never thought girls sucked though… I just thought BEING a girl sucked. Until this day I still agree. I’m 16 now and life is hard… Since grade 6 I’ve had no friends and never understood why they stopped talking to me and avoided me. I’m crazy about videogames even though I’m too busy for them lately. I still don`t like to wear girls clothes but sometimes I`m so self-concious I can`t go on with people judging me or pointing out my flaws. My self esteem since grade 6 dropped dramatically and is still low except that now I can talk to people again but not very open anymore. The only place I can express myself is through text. I almost cry everytime I face a teacher for help or something stupid like that. I never want to cry but I feel so low and out of place. Since Junior high, we`ve had a lack of boys in our grade. Maybe 4 of 25 at the most. It was a fine-arts school and sounded feminine I guess. I NEVER loved cooking, cleaning, sewing, and those things that are classified as ‘feminine’. I always loved sports, art, and almost anything boys liked. I’m used to being around girls now since I spent a very defined part of my life around them. Being around all these girls for so long, made me realize that I`m different. That I`m weird and no one could understand me. Some thought I was lesbian which I do not even believe in. I`m in grade 11 and still a tomboy, but sometimes I feel like i`m not anymore. My mom has never allowed me to cut my hair passed my chin and I don`t want to hurt her by doing it myself. I still like baggy pants but also bought a few girl-fashion-trend clothes since my style was unaccepable to others. I`m very self-concious STILL and don`t know where I`m at or who I am. I`ve thought about trans-gender stuff which seems so wrong to me, but I just hate being a girl. Especially now that i`ve hit puberty and everything is wrong with my body except that i’m still pretty fit just lazy. I’m going through depression and have a strong dislike in boys. I guess because I havent been around them forever, they never hang around me because I’m not feminine enough (this is probably what they are thinking), and the only words I’ve heard from boys are negativity about life from my brothers and harsh sexism! I’ve wanted to join the military but was afraid that boys would sexually assault me (which is almost 85% of what happens to female caddettes in militaries lately.) and I will never be able to stand the negativity and critism I recieve because I’m a frikin girl. I have nowhere to go in life and have no motivation to try to come up with a decision. My life feels like it’s already ended from being shunned for so many years. My brothers used to make fun of me all the time for being a tomboy, never accepting that I am still human no matter what I am. My older brothers don’t talk to me anymore except one that always bothers me about liking boys because I’m in high school now. I don’t know where to go from here and I have no one to talk to. Just because I like things most girls don’t doesn’t mean I’m gay. Why does “tomboy” have to be classified as a sexual group? Why isn’t “tom-girl” one? I like sports, is that so wrong?

I also loved being noticed or thought of as a guy. I liked to convince people that I was a boy and try changing my name to a boy’s name… It used to be prettyeasy to convince people because I was born with a lower voice. My mom had a cold when she was pregnant with me and it permenantly changed mine. I’m too embarrassed to sing with the girls because the girls sound so pretty and I sound really weird and masculine if I try to sing. I always loved singing but I never liked to DO the singing. I feel so alone in this world. I never want to be like all the other girls and I want to have fun. Men degrade women so horribly I feel useless and have no future. Right now I’m looking at no future and am failing high school. I used to be a straight-A student in Elementary until grade 6 when I had no real friends that took me seriously. The would simply say that I’m not mature enough to hear what they were talking about. Since that day I found out they were keeping secrets from me, I lost all my friends. How is you’re life doing right now? ‘Cause I just want to end mine now. My life is too full of humiliation and crap to care anymore. I requested a councellor (spelling) and can’t even open up to him without crying. I’m too much of a baby now and hate it. Any tips you would have, please tell me. I would love to hear anything.

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25 thoughts on “Emily

  1. Hey. I know how much being rejected by friends and family can hurt, I really do. It’s real, but it does get better with time. You’re not alone with those feelings either, there are lots of people who have been there. There is nothing wrong with you, and remember that. It’s great that you’re talking to a counselor though, stick with that because it really can help.

  2. Hi there. I can empathize with a lot of what you’re saying. Parts of it, I almost feel as though I could have written. Personally I grew up in a household that had very closeminded opinons about gender, which never seemed to include anything that I might have chosen for myself. I remember being forced into dresses as a child for church. I also remember sneaking out with my brother to throw rocks outside or something equally as “unladylike”. Every time.

    I feel what you felt as you got older, where things seemed to only worsen with age and puberty and that post-middle-school division of the sexes. To this day, my finding heels uncomfortable and purses impractical raises an eyebrow of concern with my mother and most of my family back home. But I can honestly say that it does get better. I’ve graduated from high school, fallen in love with my major and moved away from home. The questions still come, but eventually people accept the answer you give them. You’re you, and you’re beautiful and amazing and unique exactly the way you are.

    I’m writing to let you know that you’re going to find people that love and want to be around you exactly the way you are. I never “grew out” of being a tomboy. I still largely hate all the frills and skirts and such that I hated as a kid. I’ve met other girls who are the same, and furthermore, openminded people who’ve never once made a comment on what I was wearing as if it reflected my character – and even some girls who do like to wear dresses but are more than willing to get dirty and play sports with me and the guys. Every Sunday, rain or shine (the rain is particularly fun) I’m rough and tumbling with the boys in intramural sports in the park. And sure, there are some jerks of here or there, but that can’t be avoided. There are an equal -or perhaps even greater amount of awesome people out there that don’t want you to be anyone but yourself.

    While those people will be a huge help, the biggest thing I want to say, and encourage, is that you try and remember to be good to yourself. You’re one of a kind, and your life does have immense value. Even being awesome enough to share your story has probably already inspired someone else to do the same. If nothing else – know that you’ve been heard, and you’re not alone. And even though it’s hard, you should definitely stick with your counselor. Being willing to talk about it with someone, anyone you trust is important. And it’ll get easier with time.

    • Thank you so much! You’re comment made me cry… Literally. My mom always worried about me because I hated purses and frilly things (and still do), hadn’t started my period yet (which now I have. sorry for being so open about it), and didn’t like boys STILL.I still couldn’t imagine being with someone in future relationships. Sometimes I think I should just spend my life alone, though I never want to be alone forever. I don’t have any friends to hang out with that play sports, they all went to different schools by junior high and moved away. I have no guy friends and the female friends I have never have time to hang out, don’t want to because they have other things to do with other friends, or just don’t like or want to play sports. I can honestly relate to your comment as if it was my own also! That’s the reason I had the urge to reply to the story with my own reflection of my life. 🙂 I have perspectives on things that defeat the purpose of ‘black and white’ but am constantly reminded of my differences (positive and negative) by worldly events and influences, even in my own home. I see things that I never noticed before and when I try to correct it or stand up for myself, I’m thrown back down by people who disagree or think otherwise. I guess breaking down crying is a sign of relief that I’ve been heard by someone at last and can relate directly to them. Thank you for your comment! It means a lot. Possibly more than you could ever imagine.

  3. By any means are you alone. There are thousands of others like you who don’t feel comfortable in their own skin. It sucks, and there really isn’t much you can usually do as an instant cure. But for a long-term solution, look towards your eventual independence. One day, you won’t have your family or school looking down on you in any way. Work on education now, so that you can support yourself while you find yourself. It is downright awful where you are now; I know, I’ve been there too. But you will get through it. Keep in your head, think about you and you alone, figure yourself out while these people aren’t appreciating you. You will have the respect and the love and the friends you deserve. You just have to stay strong for this bit of time. It always helps to talk about your problems, too. I had an online journal on an avatar site, http://www.gaiaonline.com . I found a forum where people would talk about their secrets, called DLS (Dirty Little Secrets). You can have friends, and there are tons of people who would love to meet you.
    Never lose hope.

    • I created an account on Gaia Online a while ago actually! That would be awesome! I don’t remember any of my info though like username and password. My online course may interfere with some free time too however. Maybe I can add you as a friend when I have the chance? Thank you for helping me. Every comment from everyone makes a difference in my life. I haven’t thought of a way of making any good friends and I can relate to very well. Maybe this can be a first step! 🙂

  4. Emily, your story sounds so familiar to me. By the time I was 10 I would go to bed at night praying that I’d wake up a boy, because I didn’t have any clue how to be me – a tomboy, and unlike you, very clear that I liked girls. It’s so easy to buy into all the messages against being different, about being female, just anything that feels out of step with our families, the kids at school, the people in our neighborhoods.

    You asked how we’re doing. I’m 52 now, and doing fine. I love myself, I love my partner, my friends, the people I work with, all of it. I’m so, so glad I made it through self-destructive times. I glad to be alive, and have been glad for many, many years now.

    It gets so much better once you’re out of high school. You’ll come into being yourself. You’ll find friends who accept you as you are, and you will find ways to deal with people who don’t. Hang in there. You express yourself so well, and you sound like a smart, interesting, complex person. There’s a much bigger, wider, more flexible world outside of the community you’ve grown up in. You’ll get there.

    • Thank you. I know I thank everyone, but I mean it! Every word counts! We have slightly different opinions, but that’s alright! I’m glad you’re doing really well! I’m looking forward in life already! Just unsure how to work around school and schedules, motivation to complete courses thoroughly, etc. Thank you for your support ^_^ I will make sure I follow some steps I’ve been given by you all. Much appreciated!

  5. It’s definitely really hard growing up girl, I noticed the difference between genders at a really young age, like 7, and have rejected most organized religions and our current society’s structures since then. It’s even harder growing up girl and suffering the extreme sexism and negativity of being a woman, but not fitting in with other women. I’ve always been a bit of an anomaly, I’ve always enjoyed playing tough with the boys, but I also enjoy dressing ‘feminine’. I’ve been known to climb trees or wrestle in dresses. I know it’s hard, but truly, it’s so important to know who you are and what you like and to align yourself with that. If you are always confident in yourself (I know it’s hard right now, because everyone else is putting down how you feel about yourself), you will be more happy. It’s easier to brush off what other people say when you feel like yourself. Now there’s still plenty of times where things people have said to me send me crying and even thinking about middle school makes me cringe with negative emotions for the way I was picked on, but at the time, it didn’t get to me, because I knew who I was. Sometimes I feel now that things get to me more now than they did then. But I still know who I am, I know who and what I like. It’s definitely a constant struggle to get respect as a young woman, but I’ve learned to enjoy the arguments and to know that I’m right at the bottom of it, no matter what they say. Another thing that I think is really important to think about is that we’re all made up of masculine and feminine qualities. Our society raises us to think that to be a girl, you have to be ultra feminine and to be a boy, you have to be ultra masculine, but really both men and women have levels of testosterone and estrogen in them and more of one than the other can affect the way you look or sound or feel. I happen to have a lot of estrogen, so physically, I’m very feminine, I have a lot of curves and large breasts, but that doesn’t make me any more of a woman than someone who is more masculine shaped. So while there are differences between masculine and feminine, we all have a mixture of them and shouldn’t focus on the separation of the two. I hope this helps a little and if you feel you want someone to talk to more, don’t hesitate to contact me.

    • Thank you also! So many ‘thank you’s’… I think I’m too nice now… Haha, I’d be grateful to be able to contact you! I feel less alone in this world than I have forever. EVerything in life changed from being perfect to so imperfect so fast, I wish I was still a child! I’m also battling with sexism and things right now also. I can relate to every word (well, except that I’m short and don’t have large breasts…)! I hope you’re life is doing well! I’ve always been so bubbly, loud and cheerful, and sometimes in people’s faces but now I’m pretty quiet and self-concious. I don’t know what happened to drop my self-esteem so dramatically (maybe depression?), but I’m working to build it back up again. How should I contact you?

  6. I haven’t exactly been made fun of for being a tomboy, but sometimes I would get weird looks. Not minding dirty looks and questions I got from people, I could FEEL that people found something wrong with me. The sudden lack of communication and socializing, the trust, the acknowledgement of me actually being there from my closest friends… etc. I don’t want to be labelled as gay when I’m not, I just want to be seen as a normal person and fitting in with everyone else. Why is it so hard to just be me? I don’t have a style anymore, not super baggy and not frilly, not skinny, not any new fashion trend, I can’t really explain it. I’m too self-concious and have a pretty “corrupted” (not in a dirty or morbid way) style. I remember hearing my mom say once that I don’t like girly things or things most girls like, I like the odd things. It almost (but didn’t), just almost offended me or hurt. I do like “odd” things that people consider to be odd but how does that make ME the “odd” one? I don’t want labels so people can distinguish what I am or as “not like the others”. It’s good to be different but now it feels like too different is bad or unacceptable. I never know what to do, how to dress, or what to think anymore.

  7. I also found people trying to avoid conversation with me or ignoring me when I speak to them in reply to something they said.

  8. Hi, Emily. My name is Thea. I’m 33 years old. I’m from New Orleans, LA and I identify as gender queer. I wanted to stop by and tell you that you are absolutely not alone. As someone who operates outside of gender norms, mentally and physically, I can tell you that I struggled with some of the same questions you do now. The people in your school are not your soul mates; they happened to be born around the same time you did, in the same geographical location that you did. They are not who your life-long friends are going to be, so don’t feel like you are missing out if they don’t understand you. As for your family, sometimes you have to begin accepting yourself and develop some confidence before they will take you seriously. No family is the same…sometimes, the more scared and uncertain you seem to them, the more they will insist this is just a phase you are going through. Trust me, they don’t want you to be unhappy; they probably just don’t have the tools you need right this moment, so you will have to help them by developing your own tools.

    Imagine for a second that you lived in a world without salt or sugar. Everything that you ate was bland and vaguely unsatisfying. When you bit into your food, you simply felt like something was missing, but having never had salt or sugar, you didn’t know how to explain what you were missing. When you look around, it seems like everyone else is enjoying their meal just fine; they even tell you to stop being weird and just eat. That’s kind of like how elementary, middle and high school is for people like you and I…people just don’t get what is going on with us, that we are searching for something fundamental for ourselves. I’ve got a promise for you…there is an entire WORLD out there you have never seen, explored, felt or tasted, and as you find it, it will embrace you. My advice: make your world as big as you can. Find groups you can connect with, even if it is not a local group; I found a ton of help through http://www.thetrevorproject.org/. While you may not identify as queer, the queer community is no stranger to gender bending/gender breaking/gender redefining…you WILL find friends there. Start a blog, or contribute to an existing blog like you just did to this one. Take up a hobby that may make no sense to anyone but you, and immerse yourself in it. Start considering what kind of college you want to attend, because it won’t just be about academics for you. Get creative in the ways you express yourself, and not just to the world…to yourself.

    You are extremely close to the age where you will be able to stretch your legs and really launch into your own life. That’s what makes teen depression so hard for me to watch…because right when your life is about to *really* start to change for the better, all you wanna do is give up. Trust…I was there. If I had given up on it all, I would have missed so much.

    I deal with young people coming into their own pretty often in my every day life. If you have questions, or just need an ear, my email address is theamars@gmail.com. I’m no professional, but I care.

  9. Hi Emily

    I can definitely relate to your story of being a tomboy growing up. I usually don’t read or write on forums but your story and the numerous responses really inspired me. To tell you a little bit about my story:
    I can remember being a tomboy for as long as I can remember. I only wore baggy clothing. I never played with dolls, I only played with dinosaurs and little toy cars. I had a boy haircut when I was in grade 5, but after that I always tied my hair in a ponytail. I loved wearing baseball caps. I loved playing sports with boys at recess or after school. I hated going through puberty. I never wore makeup. The thought of having a boyfriend never even occurred to me. Lucky for me, my parents and the kids at my elementary/high schools were more accepting of who I was. However, I also got stares, whispering as I walked by, other kids questioning my gender, etc, and that did hurt. What got me through school was keeping myself busy with my interests. My parents didn’t care too much about how I dressed but they did stress on good grades and I really did enjoy learning. I joined all the extracurricular clubs and teams I had an interest in. I tried my best to integrate myself socially while being a little bit socially awkward. I made friends through the teams and clubs and finding those people who shared common interests. I was nice and kind, and most importantly a happy person to be around.

    My advice for you is to not allow your wounds to turn you into someone you are not. Be who you are and don’t change for anyone other than yourself. I know identity and the sense of belonging are big themes in high school, but like others have said, keep trudging along, discover your interests and meet people that have the same interests as you. Slowly but surely, you will meet those who love you for who you are, but first you gotta learn to love yourself. Keep doing the things you love, build your self-esteem and confidence by doing so, don’t be afraid to try new things and don’t be afraid to speak out. Be optimistic and have hope, and things will get better.

    I really appreciate you sharing your story.

  10. Hi Emily, I relate so well to what you have written, and I replied to you because I would like to let you know that I had similar difficulties to you and thought myself to be unusual or faulted in some way, but now (at 38), i see my tomboyishness and reluctance to stick to traditional female roles to have brought an incredible gift to my life.

    As a teenager, I felt strange. I was also very interested in art. Music too. When I left school, I found a partner who ended up being a best friend too. We’ve been together for 18 years now, and he remains my best friend. I started to dj, play music at parties, weddings, markets, and I learned about graphic design. As a young adult, i felt vital and alive, and I started to embrace choices which wouldn’t have been open to me if I had stuck to more traditional girl roles. Because I didn’t belong, I have a determination and a strength which has helped a lot in my life. (There’s quite a beautiful story about not belonging in a book called ‘women who run with wolves’, where the author writes about the so-called ugly duckling, who of course is really a swan).

    Being an outsider helped me to question what is considered to be ‘normal’ socially, and to understand other people who are considered to be outsiders too, either because of narrow definitions of gender roles (like me), race, disability, mental disability, or sexualities. This has helped me to develop some wonderful friends and very rich experiences. I have learned a lot from people who are different, and it broadens definitions of life and what it is about, rather than limiting what it means to be alive today. There is so much going on which is creative, alive, beautiful and transformative which doesn’t fit into a box.

    Emily, have you read Naomi Wolf’s ‘beauty myth’? This talks about how images of beauty or femininity are used to limit women, and to stop them exploring all they can be. It speaks about how marketing aimed to urge women into domestic roles, and when these roles were rejected, the goal was to make women focus on products such as make up or other beauty products, appealing to their anxiety and self doubt in order to tell them that they were not enough.

    You are right to say that being a girl sucks if you just can’t be yourself. You came to earth as a spirit who possesses so many qualities which have value. Narrow social beliefs and roles are trying to limit you and put you into a box, but you don’t have to belong to a box, and you should never have had to. It is our society which is so faulted, not you.

    Embrace yourself. Treat yourself with the kindness and the care you deserve. Let yourself unfold. And if you do this, those people who deserve you, and who deserve your time, will be the ones who make friends with you, and who will share your life.

    Regards,
    Nicci

  11. HI, Emily. I just read your post and I can really relate. I hated being a girl, wished I could be a boy so badly growing up. Everything girl repulsed me, seemed disgustingly girly and trivial, and so did most girls. Can relate to not feeling like my voice fit in singing with girls (but not really with boys either!) Can relate to the way girls and women were and still are not regarded the way men are. I, too, don’t understand why being an extreme tomboy makes people assume that you must be gay. I wasn’t interested in guys until my 20s but I was never interested in girls, never once thought or worried that I might be gay. I was just really into basketball and art and school and doing well at those things and being outside, which I love, was all that mattered. I met a great guy in college, who accepts me for who I am and doesn’t want me to wear makeup or anything girlier than what i want to wear, and I am finally getting happier being a girl/woman. I used to think I was just 100% born a tomboy, but now I see that a good part of it probably had to do with the fact that I had two older brothers close in age to me and that I lived in a family and a culture where being a woman just didn’t look like fun, so I decided I wouldn’t be one! I cut my hair short as soon as my mom finally let me (11), wore boyish clothes, loved it when people mistook me for a boy… I never understood myself growing up though, wondered why I was the only girl dissatisfied being a girl, how all the rest of them could be happy with their lot in life. So I’ve spent a large part of my adulthood trying to figure it out, looking into the psychology of being a tomboy, gender identity issues. I consider myself to be quite an expert on tomboys now! I’ve just started a blog
    http://www.julieAswanson.wordpress.com which is going to have a lot of stuff on tomboys in that you should check out periodically. I’m trying to sprinkle the tomboy stuff in so as not to turn off any non-tomboy readers I might have. But I write books for kids that I call ‘tomboy jock lit’ and I’m kind of on a crusade to speak up for and try to get tomboys to be more understood. There’s not enough out there in the world for tomboys, at least not the pretty serious ones, and I know I felt pretty alone growing up. I also talk about my being a tomboy in my website on the ‘About Me’ page, so if you’re interested, check it out, http://www.julieAswanson.com.

    So hang in there and don’t worry about yourself. you are fine however you are. you are not alone. There are otthers out there in the world who get it. Just keep speaking up and you will find others like you and people who accept you and love you for the great tomboy-girl you are. Even my own kids (I have 3) don’t get my being a tomboy and how I could’ve been like I was as a kid (I now wear earrings and somewhat feminine things no problem, but when they seem pictures of me growing up, they are so embarrassed for me!), so I am trying to explain myself and other tomboys through my writing so people will stop assuming things and stereotyping tomboys–which is probably a big part of the reason we became tomboys! Because of how girls get stereotyped!!! Anyway, good luck.

  12. Hey. My name is Julie and I’m a tomboy too. I’m 16 too!! I know exactly what you feel like. I’m socially awkward and strange and I love martial arts and parkour and video games. If you want, we could be friends and message and stuff >.< I know EXACTLY what you feel like. I found a great group of (guy) friends and I have some female friends too, but it took a while to fit in and become one of them. The only reason they started accepted me was when i stopped trying to be something I was not (I tried to dress like a girl for a year and it was HORRIBLE!) I'm fine with who I am and hell, I've even had a few boyfriends. So it will get better 🙂 If you ever wanna talk to someone or just be friends feel free to send me a message or something.

  13. Hi Emily im tina, im also a tomboy and i mean a big tomboy. Evryone thinks im a guy a lot, well not as much anymore, and i can relate to what you said. Im starting to feel singled out a bi too by my guy friends, they talk about stuff that i just cant relate to, cause im a girl. Ive been a tomboy for as long as i could remember, im the only real tomboy at my school and lately ive been thinking im wierd for it. I always think when im at award assemblys that people are thinking to themselves poor kid h has a girls name. its hell not knowing anyone personally that can relate to the pain of everyone thinking im wierd and a lesbian(which im not) for dressing like a guy. Hangin out with girly girls is soo anoyying cause they always look at me like im a psycho for talking about how fun football is. Everyone looks at me like im crazy just cause how i dress. Youre not alone, ive wanted to end it before too for being known as so wierd contact me at shadowbanditcooper10@gmail.com please do i wanna talk to another tomboy

  14. Hey don’t worry about being a tomboy I’m 19 years old and I also have low self esteem I know it’s hard haha my own grandmother told me that the clothes I wore made me look asexual. Yeah it made me cry and my friend asked me if I was lesbian and that if I liked girls. I think the reason we are tomboys is because in this male dominated world we want to be noticed and feel equal but we aren’t unfortunately it’s stupid how society has classified women even at my age I hate high heels, dresses and makeup and it’s all about taking your time I’m glad I read your story you made me feel better because you’re a late bloomer like me I thought I was the only one out there. You don’t need to feel pressured embrace being yourself I hope this helps you. 🙂

  15. Hello Emily… Well I don’t have much to say, but i want to tell you that you’re not alone. i always thought that people in the western countries are more open minded than the east countries…( i am from Indonesia (look at the map if you want to know)) and I am a tomboy too. But after reading your story i could say that west and east, they’re same… Well I didn’t have plenty of friends here, but I have best friends and they’re girl. So I’m telling you this, this world is big… Many kinds of people filled it up, and some of them may understand you and love you just the way you are. I know how it feels when people judge you for being yourself, but don’t be afraid because God loves you and He loves you just the way you are (hopefully you understand what I’m saying here. Sorry my English sucks sometimes).
    If you want to share your stories or maybe you need someone to listen to your heart, i can help you… 🙂 Well if you want, you can add my facebook account: jecha anowil
    or share your story through my email: jessica.chika@gmail.com
    🙂
    Always support you, Emily..
    From your friend from Indonesia..

  16. i just want to say that, if there are 100 of people are lying and 1 is true that dosent mean those 100 are right. No matter what you do with your life, just remember this its ‘YOURS’. enjoy it live it . and take care of yourself.

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