As a kid I didn’t even understand the whole tomboy thing. I mean, I got called that by my uncles and my aunts and all, but I was the only girl. I have 23 first cousins and I am 1 of 2 girls and the other one is so much older than me that I didn’t know her. It never occurred to me that I couldn’t just be whatever I wanted so I was always playing around and it only really became a problem when I got older- like middle school age when all the other people, all the other girls were wearing makeup and dresses and carrying purses and I still had my wallet in my back pocket. I remember my 8th grade teacher- she was like “So, Brandi (it was for some special event), you’re gonna fix yourself up?”.

I was just like “well… I’m dressed.” It was bad. I actually did end up wearing makeup and feeling really uncomfortable the whole time.

So really, it isn’t necessarily that I have a tomboy story- It’s more just that it’s how I lived, and it only became a problem later on. When you’re little it’s more or less the same. It’s whatever. I used to run out in my brother’s shorts and my rubber boots, without a shirt on- just running around the yard. It didn’t occur to me that you couldn’t do that as a girl. No one ever really cared what I did until I got older and then I wasn’t like wearing dresses (and I still don’t. I look super awkward and am really uncomfortable in a dress.) It was just my life. Your lingo- “Tomboy Stories”- my whole life is a tomboy story.

But this really weird thing that happened in middle school- I guess that’s really when you solidify who you are and you start the whole dating thing that it sort of became an issue. So there were 2 or 3 years that became really hard, because I wasn’t girly enough. But then when I got into high school and no more fucks were given it wasn’t really a problem because everyone was just like “oh yeah, that’s just Brandi”. And there were other people- other girls who played sports, and I played sports so it was more ok, and it became even more ok when I got more ok with it. I think playing sports and being smart and all helped. Though honestly, I was already set apart from my the rest of my class… because I wasn’t pregnant (that really helps). And the fact that I didn’t want to go out every single night to go to so-and-so’s house and sit on the back of their truck and drink beer all the time. That also set me apart. I wouldn’t say that I was cast out, but I was set apart anyway for reasons. Being a tomboy is probably one of them. But probably not as important as me not dating any guys in high school… and me hitting on my cousin’s girlfriend.

One thought on “Brandi

  1. Haha, there are times when I sometimes think some girls are attactive, but not necessarily lesbian. Just not for me. My life is pretty much like yours! I have 5 brothers and just 2 sisters that played with barbies and makeup. I got pink pajamas for christmas and a doll but never said I hated them, because I never wanted to hurt my mom or anyone. Even when I was about 3 years old! My brothers got all the cool things and my sisters got what they wanted, but I never really did. Not saying that I’m spoiled and want presents, but just that seeing everyone with what they wanted and me, with substitutes instead of the real thing. I don’t drink, I still don’t wear makeup (unless coverup for acne), and wear my baggy clothes. Since the fashion-trend now-a-days, I see some things I used to wear as unattractive or just don’t look good on me, and the girly things weird and also unattractive. I don’t really have a style anymore. I’m pretty lost since anything I like is unacceptable for girls. I also had some ‘friends’ or people who would say “that’s just Emily” (my name of course), and I would be put on the spot with the exception that I was the “odd-one”. I don’t see why the word “Tomboy” is used to lable girls like ourselves. However, I can say I have pride in being one. I’m just out of place and lost because I am one, and don’t know how I’ll progress through my life.

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