Brandi

As a kid I didn’t even understand the whole tomboy thing. I mean, I got called that by my uncles and my aunts and all, but I was the only girl. I have 23 first cousins and I am 1 of 2 girls and the other one is so much older than me that I didn’t know her. It never occurred to me that I couldn’t just be whatever I wanted so I was always playing around and it only really became a problem when I got older- like middle school age when all the other people, all the other girls were wearing makeup and dresses and carrying purses and I still had my wallet in my back pocket. I remember my 8th grade teacher- she was like “So, Brandi (it was for some special event), you’re gonna fix yourself up?”.

I was just like “well… I’m dressed.” It was bad. I actually did end up wearing makeup and feeling really uncomfortable the whole time.

So really, it isn’t necessarily that I have a tomboy story- It’s more just that it’s how I lived, and it only became a problem later on. When you’re little it’s more or less the same. It’s whatever. I used to run out in my brother’s shorts and my rubber boots, without a shirt on- just running around the yard. It didn’t occur to me that you couldn’t do that as a girl. No one ever really cared what I did until I got older and then I wasn’t like wearing dresses (and I still don’t. I look super awkward and am really uncomfortable in a dress.) It was just my life. Your lingo- “Tomboy Stories”- my whole life is a tomboy story.

But this really weird thing that happened in middle school- I guess that’s really when you solidify who you are and you start the whole dating thing that it sort of became an issue. So there were 2 or 3 years that became really hard, because I wasn’t girly enough. But then when I got into high school and no more fucks were given it wasn’t really a problem because everyone was just like “oh yeah, that’s just Brandi”. And there were other people- other girls who played sports, and I played sports so it was more ok, and it became even more ok when I got more ok with it. I think playing sports and being smart and all helped. Though honestly, I was already set apart from my the rest of my class… because I wasn’t pregnant (that really helps). And the fact that I didn’t want to go out every single night to go to so-and-so’s house and sit on the back of their truck and drink beer all the time. That also set me apart. I wouldn’t say that I was cast out, but I was set apart anyway for reasons. Being a tomboy is probably one of them. But probably not as important as me not dating any guys in high school… and me hitting on my cousin’s girlfriend.

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One thought on “Brandi

  1. Haha, there are times when I sometimes think some girls are attactive, but not necessarily lesbian. Just not for me. My life is pretty much like yours! I have 5 brothers and just 2 sisters that played with barbies and makeup. I got pink pajamas for christmas and a doll but never said I hated them, because I never wanted to hurt my mom or anyone. Even when I was about 3 years old! My brothers got all the cool things and my sisters got what they wanted, but I never really did. Not saying that I’m spoiled and want presents, but just that seeing everyone with what they wanted and me, with substitutes instead of the real thing. I don’t drink, I still don’t wear makeup (unless coverup for acne), and wear my baggy clothes. Since the fashion-trend now-a-days, I see some things I used to wear as unattractive or just don’t look good on me, and the girly things weird and also unattractive. I don’t really have a style anymore. I’m pretty lost since anything I like is unacceptable for girls. I also had some ‘friends’ or people who would say “that’s just Emily” (my name of course), and I would be put on the spot with the exception that I was the “odd-one”. I don’t see why the word “Tomboy” is used to lable girls like ourselves. However, I can say I have pride in being one. I’m just out of place and lost because I am one, and don’t know how I’ll progress through my life.

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